The ritual produces a drama.
The drama produces some sounds.
The sounds we think we understand.
We ponder them
Consider them.
She will not repeat herself.
We are outside in the light
With nothing
But memory.
Like crystals, the possible 'readings' are inexhaustible, and keep changing. The 'reading' is the sound, that arose, . . from the work. The work is the drama that led to the reading:
Model, Play companion hard.
So always laugh when in such worry.
[She means you are working me very hard here, and also commenting that you laugh nervously when worried or stressed. It's a sign of inner unrest. This line implies that your laugh is your finest quality, demure, sweet, . . . releasing tension. Any such undertaking is fraught with worries, concerns. Who knows what we will find in our search? This activity then is similar to worrying . . . because we worry, i.e. we are attentive, whilst we are engaged in any kind of new or important activity. We are 'on the edge' so to speak. . . between dreams and wakefulness, between Life and Death, between Gods and Mortals . . . so laugh . . . what else can we do?]
Finest Life Bothers Him
Feeling crushed, breaks new competition.
[She is saying to you, JF,, that my fine life actually is a bother to me, that I enjoy in almost a masochistic way "feeling crushed", having to start over, or throwing myself into emotional turmoil. "It breaks new competition", that is, gives rise to new possibilities. She is commenting on me, and saying 'Don't worry about stressing me out, he likes it.']
Why am I fashion?
I kiss when I know I have space
[The original line here is "Kiss when neo s have space". 'neos', Gr. for 'twins', i.e. the two of us. She is saying, "I cannot account for my popularity - but don't crowd me". The Muse does not like to kiss when cornered! She also implies, 'I kiss (bestow Grace) when you know yourself, 'Γνῶθι Σεαυτό' , fr. Thales 'Know thyself.' This is a complex answer, 'know' also means 'to know carnally', meaning that she will only kiss when she knows, thus obtaining space as a result. No one can survive the carnal kisses from an Immortal. The other root, remember for the sound, not the spelling, is Greek 'neo' which means 'new', which is also the homonym of 'knows', They sound the same remember. Spelling doesn't count. Know becomes 'knew' becomes 'new' beomes 'neos' becomes twins. In this manner all language is structured. I'm saying structured, as you woud 'observe' structure, not how it was made. It was made differently.
If they reach behind, feel!
Act out vintage missive like silent patience.
[She is telling me to shut up when my muses, i.e. you!, reach into their past. Instead of interpreting verbally, I should 'act out the vintage missive' - like an old letter, patiently. She's giving direction in how I conduct the process, and how to react when certain things happen. She says I must find a way to ritually act these things out. In other words just as this poem acts out a reality, so my activities must be part of that act. Understanding is not the same as knowing.]
Weep all! Howl! we represent the null set.
Discover Mother Dust in beggars!
[The original line here was "We represent the anal Pal howl we said." . . . There are ways to go with this.'Weep All!' from 'We' and "Pal' . . . . 'the null set' / which sounds like 'and all is said'. It is all sound and vibration. She is saying, 'Listen Guy, I say everything'. We, in other words ('your models and I'), represent the Null set, that is the entire set of things that are nothing in number. . . that is the set of nothingness. Death and Absence, pure Void, able to overcome all, out of which everything comes. So weep and howl all you want! If you want to understand nothingness go and use beggars for your models! She's fiercely critical.
My later interpretation of this line takes it back to original sounds. . but reworks the order for clarity. Having done that the sense of 'We represent the anal', is discomforting. She's reminding us that 'null' and 'anal' have similar meanings. Kali is at the bottom of the world. So I'm reading it as:
We represent the null
Pal, Howl we said.
Remember, the Muse speaks metaphor, like crystal, and could have just as easily meant:
We represent the Interpol!
. . which caused me immediate concern when I read it! She does not assign any of it a single meaning. All of it has infinite meaning, but is true to itself. In this way mythos is like fire or water.]
Confront your passions, empower!
Your wasted selves appear many.
[This is typical of the way she addresses supplicants, particularly me, with a generous dose of disgust, even blatant derision. There's no point in trying to round the corners of what she says. Stand near fire you will get burned.
'So you aren't using beggars?' You can hear her derision, 'He prefers to work with young women!', she mocks. "Your wasted selves", appies to us both. She is saying that until we confront our passions, we waste our selves (pl.) not Self (sing.). Selves may be cast down like elves, but only the Self is the way out of Hell. (cf Bettleheim, Snow White) Ok then, use this to confront your passions! This is the essence of Tantra. There is historical precedence as well. You have both wasted many lives, or selves by following passion, instead of understanding passion. Understanding passion means allowing it.]
No one can question Father,
Understand, learn inclusive dark earth.
[She flat out says the Father i.e. the principle 'of 'the Father, the male principle, cannot be questioned simply because it does not have answers. She is also saying 'don't bother asking him!' (me) because he doesn't have answers either! Again a derisive tone. Matter has strength. Energy dissolves in Matter. It is akin to saying "No one can question a stone." Only the Feminine has answers, which must be understood and learned, like dark earth.]
What could please her?
Sculpt her glorious smear.
[What work of mine could please the goddess? Sculpt her! Her transcendant beauty is like a smear of Mother Dust. Glorious Smear also refers to her sex, the yoni is like a smear, a touch or caress. When not filled it is not Void, but when filled it is the essence of Void.]
Here mellifluous style's above opportunity.
[She is saying that "mellifluous style", poetry, or rather the style or art of sound, pleases her, and is above or more important than opportunity of any kind. Above all she cares about form, style, rules, and manners. Hers is the ritual path. Remember no matter what she says, the response must be in poetic form.]
We give from love, free thought
Come lost Infant!
[She says her gifts come from love, and are given freely. Come and take them lost child.]
This is not all that she said. In one voice, she took your voice, and mine, and your parents, and your lovers, and those different men you talk about, and she has them all talking. What do you want to hear?
