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Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Stars


I have, below the surface of many of these poems, interpretations that are personal, or not meant to be read. Some of it's heavy stuff. It tells tales. It's crystalline stuff, sound.

The words may not be grammatically correct, but she knows I'll put grammar into them. If I have to I'll make up a grammar, just to let them be as they are.

At that point it all becomes readable. Where is the image? Ah. . . that came from the ritual.

It is what I am listening for that determines how I hear the sound.

I listen for what is, first, and loudest, on any level, I listen for thoughts from somewhere else. Then once I have her voice, separated, I can listen for a second voice.

Once a voice assumes form, it speaks within the setting I have devised. Everything is there, who she is speaking to, how, what tone, what circumstances, what's been said, subject, what to talk about, what's left to do, how to do it, etcetera.

'She' is not always in same mood, and cannot be relied upon to act as the same 'person' though she can be relied upon to be brutally honest, and brutally intelligent.

I remember being upstairs as a child and listening to the grownups talking excitedly downstairs, guests of my parents, and learning to hear one voice at a time from amidst the hubbub.

Once you have the voice do you follow it? Follow no. Listen, yes. I practiced listening and understanding many voices simultaneously.

Pay attention to what the voices say? Yes, absolutely. Over and over again she says to me, 'use canvas' and in all honesty, with the exception of three efforts, I haven't. Am I not paying attention? I am, I do plan to use canvas, but at the right time. She calls from Mythos. Mythos wants canvas. Logos has to pick the time and place.

The closest analogy is this. You decide to produce a play. You do everything, build the set, hire actors, rehearse a script, but you do not have a star. Until opening night, you do not have someone to play the key role. 

A star always comes. It may not be a bright star or a friendly star, or a happy star or a sad star. But one comes. Always. The cast may be fired and everyone sent home, or it might be a last minute voice from amidst the extras that says, "I can do it!" and it turns out she already knows her lines.

There always will be a star. Macbeth may come - a star in your life will be there. She has no end of characters to supply. She is not you, but she does know a lot about you.

Who is she then, if there she has so many, different stars? She is the backdrop to them all. She knows them all, and can call them by name, and call them down too.

She takes them all when they're done playing their roles.

So there is no need to wish 'for' stars because stars will be there. Playing roles. They should be watched, not followed.

Instead, as a star yourself, remain centered, as you soar past other stars. Don't fall into them.

Life may take any form.


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